I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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