Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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