there was a trapeze. enough said
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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