a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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