smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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