I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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