I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
