Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
