What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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