I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
