Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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