just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
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I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
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I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You've changed since you got that strap on
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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