i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
