That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
