I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
