he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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