So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
