u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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