This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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