It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
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No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
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How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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