im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
