If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize