If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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