Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
