HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
