Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
