There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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