hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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