Quick, to the slutcave!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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