No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
