My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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