I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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