Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize