i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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