would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
