why didn't you poke me back
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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