Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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