the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
