she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I currently don't understand fingers.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
