All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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