whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
