Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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