Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
