what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
