I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
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That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
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The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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