I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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