I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
