We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
