We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize