No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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