i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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