it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
