it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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