he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
