To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
