you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
