Sponge bath it is.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
