even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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