Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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