Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize