That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
