I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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