the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
